Everyone You Know Is Wrong

The Destructive Myth of “Getting Outside Your Comfort Zone”

In my most recent book, Becoming A Writer, Staying A Writer, I discussed some of the issues I have with people who aren’t in the arts (as writers, actors, artists, directors, the occasional bank robber), telling those who are, “If you want to succeed, you have to go outside your comfort zone.” I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately, because on the surface it sounds like good advice about taking chances and pushing the artist within you to strive ever upward, but that’s not necessarily the whole of it, especially in the early stages of an artist’s journey. So I decided to expand upon those original observations to explore some of the negative implications of that phrase.

The thing about artists – which includes all the categories noted upstream, as well as any others I might have missed – is that they spend most of their lives trying to get to a place in life where they can simply enjoy the process of creating their art. But at the start they rarely get that far because they’re forever being distracted, diverted, and discouraged, sometimes even by family and friends. It’s rarely intentional; most of the time it comes out of an honest desire to help, but they don’t quite know what to say, so they keep firing off that one piece of accepted cliché and hoping for the best.

Nascent artists are often insecure about their work, and guilty about the time it takes from everything and everyone else in their lives, and it doesn’t help when others around them dismiss that impulse as trivial or self-indulgent. You need to focus on something realistic. You should have a Plan B in case this doesn’t work out. You’re not special. No one wants to hear what you have to say. Who do you think you are, Hemingway/Picaso/Spielberg/any other artist of your choice?

The more extreme statements tend to come from people who are genuinely hurtful, but there are subtler and less obvious instances that fall into a category I long ago dubbed The Tyranny of Reasonable Voices. They genuinely want what’s best for you, and don’t want to see you get hurt or, worse still, fail at what you’re doing, because in contemporary culture the worst thing you can possibly do is to fail, especially in full view of the public. We know you really want to become this great artist, but what if it doesn’t work out? You’re putting all your energy into this hobby – they always call it a hobby because they can’t wrap their brains around it as a profession – and you need to have other options. You have to start thinking outside the box you’ve made for yourself.

You can always do the art/writing/directing thing later, right now you need to focus on making a living and getting a job.

This last one is the most telling, because it often illuminates an agenda. Pursuing your dreams instead of doing all the common-sense things you think you should be doing is a choice, and if you succeed, you call into question their choices to play it safe and not pursue their dreams…and that they cannot abide.

There’s a line in the Bible, A prophet is without honor only in his own home, among his own people. The public tends to consider artists of any stripe to be Special, but those who have known you all your life have a hard time perceiving you as that kind of Special. When I told my family about wanting to work in television or movies someday, they waved it off, saying If Hollywood wants you they’ll come to you, right now you need to earn a living. But everyone reading this knows full well that the business never comes to you; you have to chase it with every molecule of your being and every inch of your will.

Which brings us back around to Sometimes you have to go outside your comfort zone.

Here’s the counter argument: Sometimes you have to go toward your comfort zone…even if that means going outside everyone else’s comfort zone.

Your art gives your life meaning. It gives you joy and purpose and a sense of fulfilment. That’s your comfort zone. And if doing so makes others unhappy, suspicious, wary, or doubtful, then they need to get out of their rut, their perspective, their comfort zone to either support you in a desperately difficult journey, or failing that, to at least get out of the way.

Over the long haul, artists learn to challenge themselves every day, going beyond what they think they can achieve and avoiding the risk of falling into complacency. But in the beginning, when everything is still fragile and uncertain and How do I know if I can really do this? be gentle on yourself.

Go into your comfort zone.

Amazing things are waiting for you there.

JMS